Thursday, October 19, 2017

Week 9 Story: The Eight Porcelain Turtles


In front of Shane sat 8 porcelain turtles. Their perfectly hand sculpted shape, repeated precisely on each shell.

These turtles were a legend. He had hardly believed his partner River when she told him that they were more than myth. One could only imagine his reaction when she told him that they could be stolen.

Each turtle was priceless on it's own, but the whole set could fetch enough to make Shane and River two of the richest people this side of the Mississippi. Shane's hands shook with excitement, the previous two hours of laborious lock picking and deft cutting of wires was behind him and now they were safely away from the crime scene.

"They're beautiful, aren't they?"

The twinge of bitterness in her voice surprised Shane. Shouldn't this be their moment of triumph? What is wrong?

River continued, "Remember, I told you that if you wanted to be a part of this heist then you would have to trust me unconditionally?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

Shane's voice betrayed doubt. This isn't like her.

"You need to trust me now, Shane. Do you trust me?"

Shane turned to River. He didn't like to make promises without eye contact. They felt less sincere.

"Of course I trust you, now what is it?"

"We need to crack open these turtles."

There was a ring to the end of the word. the room echoed her like it understood the weight her words implied. Shane would have none of this.

"Are you insane? These are worth a fortune. It'd be like burning a billion dollars!"

"Shane..."

"Why in the world would we destroy them?"

"I can't tell you Shane."

Shane stepped back in shock. River must have lost her mind.

She continued, "If you won't then I have to myself and you can walk out that door."

"Who's to say I'd leave without my share?"

River pulls up her hand. Shane can see a gun that was previously concealed. Keeping a sharp eye on Shane, River reaches over and grabs the first turtle.

"You should have just trusted me."

River slams it on the table's corner. It cracks. The pieces fall to the ground, echoing a finality.

River's eyes never leave Shane as he says, "River, let's talk this out."

Crack.

River's eyes squint as she breaks a third turtle.

And a fourth.

And a fifth.

And a sixth.

Shane is powerless, there is nothing he can do as he watches his dreams of wealth crash before his eyes.

And a seventh.

River pauses with the last turtle in hand. She looks to Shane and says, "I do not take kindly to those who can't obey orders."

The last turtle cracks. Instead of shards of porcelain falling to the ground however, a shimmering streak can be seen beneath the surface of the porcelain.

"Is that..." Shane can't finish the sentence. he is awestruck at the gem that has been revealed.

"Yes it is. In my hand I hold the most valuable diamond in the world. It is worth more than most of the countries on this planet. It's a shame, you could have had a piece of this but you doubted me and now you get a different kind of reward."

The trigger on her gun cocks.

Bang.



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Author's notes: I based this story loosely on the story of King Shantanu and his wife Ganga. More info can be found in my story plan from a couple weeks back, but the parallels are rather obvious. I decided to change the relationship between the characters and the premise because I wanted to take the concept of trust inherent in the original and put into a new story.

4 comments:

  1. Hi Josh,

    Wow. What an intense story! After reading your introduction and then reading this story I totally get how having a background in framing stories contributes to this style of writing. It felt like I was reading a movie scene. River and Shane felt very Bonnie and Clyde to me. You managed to bring a couple of original characters to life in a very short amount of time. Well done and Iook forward to reading more!

    -Elizabeth

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  2. Hi Josh. This was intense like Elizabeth said. Really great job and I can definitely see how your background helped with dialogue and setting up a story. I didn't even think about all those parallels between the king and his wife. You did a great job!

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  3. Hi Joshua!

    I was excited to read one of your stories after reading your introduction because I knew it would probably be really creative and well executed. And I was right. This story, while intense, was so fun to read. I can definitely see your background shining through your writing. I can’t wait to read more of your work. Well done!

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  4. Hi Joshua! This was a cool story. I could definitely see that the foundation of this story was trust, and Ganga's personality shone through in River's (Hey, I just got that!) character. This would be pretty cool as an even bigger story that showed the heist and stuff. I love a good heist story; those are all about the characters, and you've got a cool pair right here!

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