Backstory is just as important, if not more so, as fore-story. It is important to understand where one is before one might understand where they must go. Moving blind through life is a recipe for disaster and strife, but onto our story at hand.
There once was a man, so strong and so powerful that none dared face his might. He could slay monsters and demons with a single arrow from his epic bow. His wife was considered the most beautiful in the land. Her beauty could make a saint repent or a monk speak tongues.
Well this man, despite his infinite charm and in-spite of his power bred many a jealous enemy. But there was one rival that could light a candle to the strength of the man. He envied the strength of the man, he envied his beautiful wife, he envied the respect that he was awarded world wide.
And so, one day this rival hatched a plan, and indeed he executed his evil will. The rival stole the wife away. He took her to the most safe guarded of castles, a fortress impenetrable to even the man himself.The fortress was built of bricks so tightly that no arrow could possibly penetrate their exterior. And so, the man was without his Wife.
The man was in sorrow, for he knew not if his wife was alive or dead. Soon, news of his tragedy spread far and wide. Creatures great and small heard the tears shed by the mightiest of men.
Many came to the aid of the man. But alas, one by one they all tried and failed to penetrate the walls of the fortress.
Finally after many months the man gave up hope. But in this moment of utter defeat a hero emerged. It was not a lion, with a roar to shatter bones. It was not a bear, with arms to do much the same. It was a flea, a simple, small flea.
This flea though was able to do what no one else could. He was tiny enough to slip through the brick and mortar and make his way into the fortress, there he saw that indeed the wife was still alive, and fighting fiercely to stay away from the rival.
The man's vigor was renewed.
Now that is the end of this story. But stories never really end, just as they never truly begin.
Author's notes: I based this story off of the tale where Hanuman is able to sneak into the castle to see if Sita is alive. I changed the story to focus on the mighty Rama having one weakness, one that he could not get past without the help of his friend Hanuman.
That is actually a really interesting change to make Hanuman a flea in your story. In a way, it humbles a character that was originally said to have an incredible power. I also like that you gave Rama a weakness so that he could not just outright go and save Sita. Reading about overly powerful characters gets old after a while, so it is nice to see them in a more humble state. Great story!
ReplyDeleteVery interesting story Josh! I haven't read one that was told as so. To be honest, I really had to think a bit about what was going on, but I get tangled in word play pretty easily hahah. I do like that you focused on Rama having a weakness, as "tears shed by the mightiest of men," because it can show that the strong do have their weakness and it's okay if they do. It's okay that he asked for help and in the end, I do like that Hanuman's a flea, because even the smallest of beings/creatures are brave and strong enough to face all fears. Great story!
ReplyDeleteJosh, it was original to use a flea as the savior of the story. It gives the story an additional moral of sorts; "Don't judge a book by its cover". In general, I would just go back over the story making sure that you are using adjectives and adverbs in their appropriate places. This will help the story flow a little bit better. Also, I think that you can expand on the story, even adding the scene where Rama saves Sita. Good job.
ReplyDeleteHey Josh,
ReplyDeleteGood concept on the story! I like that you changed Hanumana into a flea and made Rama weak as he wouldn't be able to get in without the help of Hanumana. It got confusing in the middle but then I got the main idea. I am glad you thought you telling the story into a different perspective. Good job and can't wait to read more from you!